The following is a guest post from Carrie, at The M-V Legacy. She blogs about her family and life as a young married Christian and Mother.
Recently I decided to work at memorizing the book of Philemon. Memorization comes slow to me, so I take one verse and spend several days on it. Then move onto the next one. I came across verse 7, which talks about refreshing the hearts of the saints.
“Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother, for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God’s people.” Philemon 1:7
That is how I want to be known. As someone who refreshes others. Here I hit a problem. My husband and I only have one car and he takes it to work with him every day. So…I’m at home all day long with no one but my baby son to keep me company…and it’s easy to refresh him. Just feed him, play with him and let him sleep.
There are, of course, many opportunities for serving other people if only I had a car (and, might I add, if gas prices would come back down!) It seems that opportunities to serve are severely limited when one can’t get out of the house.
I figure there are others out there who are in similar situations, so here are some suggestions for those of us who are house bound:
First and foremost you need to focus on refreshing your husband. He is the number one person in your life and it is your job as his wife to be his helpmeet. (For any single ladies out there, your focus should be on your family. How can you refresh your parents and siblings?) If your husband isn’t being taken care of and refreshed then you should not be looking for ways to serve others. Start with your own home first.
Here are four suggestions for serving your husband (or family)…
1. Have a cheerful spirit. I’m amazed at how my grouchy attitude affects my husband. He gets concerned about me and tries different things to perk me back up. It also has a tendency to make him feel down. So greet your husband with a cheerful spirit when he gets home from work and say good-bye to him in the morning with a smile on your face.
2. Make sure you have a good dinner ready for him. Plan his favorite meals and side dishes.
3. Make sure you have snacks. I don’t know about you, but my husband enjoys snacking and his snacks tend to look more like meals. So make sure you have his favorites on hand…for us that would be leftover homemade pizza, hot dogs, pancakes, muffins or French toast.
4. Focus on him on his days off. I have a tendency to want his help cleaning the apartment when he is home. After all there are some jobs that are difficult for me to do. Just remember that your husband has had some long days and (possibly) dealt with difficult people. Make sure he gets refreshed on his days off work.
Once you learn how to refresh your husband and if you have time, then you can begin looking for ways to refresh others. Some of these possibilities you might have to initiate…others God might just drop into your lap.
1. Look for other people who are in similar situations as you and see how you can encourage them. (i.e. through email or phone) Shortly after we were married a friend emailed me. She had just started courting her man and she had questions for me regarding some things. I was thrilled to be able to share from my experience! Another friend was married in June. My husband and I were married young and my friend was young, so I emailed her and said if she ever needed a young married friend to relate to I was definitely available! Not only am I encouraging friends, but I’m being encouraged as well.
2. Reach out to your neighbors. A couple of weeks after our son was born, we found out that our neighbors had just had a baby as well. So I made them a couple of meals and one evening my husband and I took them over. From experience, I knew how helpful it was to have meals brought to you in the first weeks after a baby arrives!
3. Be on the lookout for people/families who are going through a difficult time. Again you could make meals for a family who just had a baby, lost a loved one or is ill. And you and your husband can deliver the meals when he gets home from work. Perhaps you could offer to baby sit…if they dropped their children off at your house. Or see if there is any shopping they need done and then add it to your list to do when your husband gets home.
4. Invite family and friends over. Even if you have a small house. They won’t mind being cramped. We enjoy having both of our families over for dinner. Or having my sisters come out and spend several days with us. Or having Tim’s brother drop in to watch a movie late at night. We’ve enjoyed having out of town friends over for dinner and getting caught up on their lives.
To be known as someone who refreshes the spirits of those around them, you have to change your mindset. Each person you come in contact with you can bless or make their day worse. So start out each day with a prayer that God will cause you to be open and observant for all of the ways (big and small!) to refresh others.
Thank you, Carrie, for this important reminder. I often get so caught up in being frugal, my family gets left behind.
Each Thursday in the upcoming weeks, I will be featuring a new guest blogger. I welcome your ideas and suggestions! Please feel free to contact me.
That’s wonderful advice and a good reminder.