Every night before we go to bed, my wonderful hubby checks all the doors to make sure they are locked (because he is married to a freak who is obsessed with safety). When he checked the front screen door, he began whispering furiously, “Come here! You have to see this!”
I had already taken my contacts out (which leaves me legally totally blind), but I hurried over there anyway, thinking, what on earth is he so excited about? Then he starts talking about a snake.
Okay. I can handle a snake. A spider? NO WAY! I. Do. Not. Do. Spiders. At. All. Get it? But, snakes, I can deal with. I’ve killed several in my twenty-seven years on this planet (that’s what happens when you live in the “country” folks).
This particular snake is, oh, about 6 inches long and tiny. The creep factor is that it is right by my front door, and I do not do animals of any kind in my house (sorry, doggie-in-the-back-yard).
Thisisturningintoareallylongstory.
My darling hubby does not like snakes. Period (picture my reaction to spiders… see above). I don’t want the thing in my house. So, I do what any good wife would do: I decided to kill it.
DH asked me, “What are you going to kill it with? We don’t have anything to kill it with. We need a shoe.”
Now, you know you live in a great world when you think anything can be killed with a shoe (I’ve seen my FIL kill a mouse with a shoe, and it was really gross), but I don’t want to sacrifice any of my shoes to beat said snake.
Out comes the kitchen knife.
Hubby’s eyes are shining… he’s waiting to watch this. So I carefully step outside to keep this snake from getting in my house (while DH watches with the front door wide open).
I guess you are waiting for the climax of this story since I’ve taken a really long time to tell it (not only am I obsessively organized, I’m very detailed, too).
Well, I pretty much hacked the snake to death with my kitchen knife. DH was really impressed, and promptly announced, “You are definitely the man of the house.”
Man of the house??? Not quite. But, I’ll take it as a compliment. I’ll handle the snakes, but HE still has to kill all the spiders!!!
He should have gotten the camera…I would have loved to see you in action….granted I wouldn’t like to see a snake hacked though…lol.
So proud of you!!!! And a little envious…I can’t stand anything creepy crawly!
That’s REALLY funny. I’m that way about mice. I’m fine with spiders and ok with snakes but mice … shudder. The site of one paralyzes me. Great work Madame Butcher! 🙂
AAAAACCCKKKK!!!!
That freaked me out just reading it. You are one tough woman. Me, not so much.