Children and Chores: Setting the Table

Welcome to my new segment, Children and Chores.  Each Wednesday, we will look at a different aspect of mixing chores and children… putting the chores on a child’s level, talking about dealing with a child’s “way of doing” certain chores, and what chores are best for children.

For the first installment, we are discussing “setting the table.”  In our home, this was the first place we began (after making beds!) to encourage our 5 year old daughter to enjoy chores.

Getting it Right – Remember you are the teacher.

:: Now, you must know that I have “issues” with perfection; I have a need for everything to be “just right.”

:: When we involve our children in our day-to-day tasks, we MUST leave our perfect expectations at the door.  No child is going to do it right the first time, and he or she is certainly not going to do it “our” way.

:: When we “train our child in the way he should go…”* we need to teach him the proper way to do the chore, without correcting or changing what he has done.  As long as the chore is properly done, there is no need to “fix” it.

Top Tips: Helping your child set the table

:: Talk to your child about what needs to be done, and show him what the finished chore should look like.  If you wish, draw a picture of a place setting on a piece of paper for your child to use as a guide.  (thanks, Multitaskingme!)

:: Use shatter-resistent plates and cups; obviously, the nice dishes should not be utilized at this time.

:: In our home, we use cloth napkins (or washcloths for the baby), that are kept in a drawer low enough for our daughter to reach.  She knows to set out four napkins and one washcloth, so she automatically does that without being told.

:: If she is tall enough, let her choose the silverware for each family member herself; you can tell her what is needed for that meal.

:: If your child cannot reach the silverware, pull out what is needed for the meal, and show her which person gets what utensil (for example, our 3-yr-old DD has no business using a knife!).

:: Set out “extras”: salt, pepper, ketchup, etc, on the bar or a cabinet and let your child place them on the table.

:: After you have shown him how the table is to be set, verbal hints may be used, if needed.

– Give them fair warning. I simply tell my daughter when I begin cooking, that I will let her know when I am ready for her to set the table.  That lets her know that I will be needing her soon, and it helps me to know that she will (usually) not argue when I am ready for her.

– As she is setting the table, I lay out the silverware that is needed, and tell her which is for whom.  I barely have to stop what I am doing to give her the proper directions.

– Remind your child that the two-hand rule is a good one! It isn’t about how fast the table can be set, but that everything gets there in one piece.

:: Do not ask your child to carry a hot (or warm!) plate or bowl. Ere on the side of caution, and leave the hot items for your spouse or yourself.

:: Enjoy teaching your child. It is so much fun to watch them learn and grow in knowledge and wisdom!  Enjoy this time.

:: Encourage your child. Let him know what a good job he is doing.

:: Tell her how much you appreciate her and her hard work.  Make sure your child knows you are proud of her.

:: Brag on your child… in front of him. Whether it is to your spouse, parents, family, friends, whoever!  I know you will brag on your child anyway, but make sure he hears some of that bragging.

Do you have your children do chores?  What are your thoughts on children and chores?

Photo by LexnGer
*verse found in Proverbs 22:6