A lot of you know my husband is a youth pastor. Some of you may know that I did not marry a youth pastor; he “fell into” ministry a year and a half after we married. A few of you know that the last thing I ever wanted to be was the wife of a pastor.
{Awkward silence}.
I am still married. Here is proof. {Giggle}.
Can I be real with you? As in real. Transparent. Honest. I have been wanting to share pieces of my life in ministry, and now is as good a time as ever.
Over the last five or so years of ministry, there have been ups and downs. I have a very Type-A, controlling, take-charge personality. My husband, is learning aspects of the Type-A personality, is easy-going, and laid-back. We had somewhat of a role-reversal for awhile.
After a few years of this, a few several disagreements, and God’s divine intervention (not always an EASY thing, people!), my husband and I changed many things about our ministry; including what my role would be.
Yes, that means I had to learn to bite my tongue. We will just say that my tongue was really sore for awhile (and yes, there have been many times I did not keep my mouth shut).
Currently, I feel that I have become complacent in my role as a pastor’s wife. We have a wonderful church, fabulous staff and staff wives (all of whom I call my friends), and a beautiful and supportive church family. On the outside, it may look like I have it all together.
On the inside, it is a different story. I am struggling. Really struggling.
I don’t know what my role is anymore.
Sure, I am the supportive, loving, and encouraging wife (as much as I can be… I’m not perfect, but my sweet husband makes all of that pretty easy!), but where to I fit in?
I feel disconnected.
I blame no one but myself, of course, but I feel disconnected all the same. I look around our church family, filled with people I love and care about, and I feel unsure as to how I can be of service to them. What do I have to share with them? What do I have inside me that is of value to others?
Hmmmm…. Me thinks I’m not cut out to be a pastor’s wife.
But, I am. Because God does not make mistakes. Because things will fall into place in God’s Perfect timing. Because I know God has a Plan for my life… and it includes being a pastor’s wife.
Which means, I must accept all that comes with being a pastor’s wife.
But I need a ministry of my own… I need to find my niche.
And the best part? I think I may have found it.
Many doors have been opened to me in the last 6 months that I never even knew existed. I have new ideas and plans, about which I am truly excited. And, I truly feel that I can really help people and make a valuable contribution.
What is my plan? Well, that is still in the works, and is “to be continued…”
For now, I am grateful for God’s divine intervention in my life at the age of 11, His amazing and perfect plan for my life (and yours, too!), and the blessing He bestowed upon me that is my husband. I am also indebted to Him as His Son gave His life for all of us… and that He hears my (frequent!) prayers.
This post can be found on GratiTuesday at Heavenly Homemakers
I am not a pastors wife but have often wondered how can I better support my church family as they are always amazing towards me. It can be a hard position to be in I am glad that you have some ideas and have found something you think will work as your ministry. I will be praying for you. Take care and God bless
.-= Casey´s last blog ..Gratituesday: My Mother In Law =-.
Can I just say I’m proud of you? And so blessed to call you sister and friend! We’ve both come a long way in the last 7 years. God is working in both our lives and hopefully soon we’ll both find our niche. Love ya sister! Miss you!
.-= Rachel Harrelson´s last blog ..Randy’s New Toy =-.
I hope you find much joy in your new ministry! Take care and good luck!
.-= Amy Lynne´s last blog ..Handy Hubby =-.
WOW! You have described my life! lol My husband – the Youth Pastor, same personality traits as your husband, me, the outspoken, take charge youth pastor’s wife! Wow! Now, the thing my Pastor’s wife always told me was never say you don’t want to be a Pastor’s wife, because before she was my Pastor’s wife, she and her husband were the Youth Pastors! Well… I should give you the same advice…because, my husband and I are now…The Senior Pastor and his wife! lol
I am thrilled that you have found a PLACE for you! And a ministry that you can feel is your niche! I must say, but I am sure you already know, that the girls in the youth group need you and though they may not show it at times, they look up to you and for some of them your role as a wife is the only real model they have. We know alot of these girls come from broken homes and worse, just know that they are learning from you, just by your love…
Hope I have in some small way encouraged you..
Dian
.-= Dian Farmer´s last blog ..FREE Gas & Groceries For A Year! =-.
I hear ya!! I’m one of those pastor’s wives too, and I definately have those stereotypical “pastor’s kids”…:) It’s not always easy, and I love the sore tongue comment-I may have one of those too:) Excited to hear how God has planned to work through you- beyond all the ways that He already does! Thanks for your honesty and I’m praying for you!
Praying for you!! That is awesome.
.-= Denise@TogetherWeSAve´s last blog ..Victoria Secret =-.
Ladies, thank you so much for your encouraging words and prayers! It means so much to me to know that Godly women are praying for me 🙂
I know you’ve helped many people on your blog a great deal. Maybe extend your money saving know-how to your church. I just finished Dave Ramsey’s FPU with my church and it was awesome. It was great to see so many families committed to getting themselves of debt. I wish you luck finding your place. I’ll be praying for you.
.-= Kristin @ klingtocash´s last blog ..Check the bill: Don’t get overcharged for services =-.
I really think it is time we get together! I can relate so much to this post, and on many levels. I might just give you a call one day soon, and we should try to go to that minister’s wives conference in October, I think it will be really uplifting! 🙂
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday =-.