I am one of those girls who is lucky to have a husband who does not mind helping out around the house. Despite the controlling nature that is embedded inside my brain My husband is always willing to pitch in, even when he is unsure of what he needs to be doing.
I hate really dislike doing dishes; I’m not sure why, but I don’t like to wash dishes, or even load/unload the dishwasher, so that is a task that Shane willingly does in our home. {I’m pretty sure he’s willing, because I clean the toilets… ha!}
Early in our marriage (and even not so long ago), I tended to tell him the “proper” way to load the dishwasher. I reminded him that there was a “certain way” everything went in. Sometimes, I even re-arranged the dirty dishes he had already placed inside the dishwasher!
Yes, I might have been was crazy.
Seriously, what is the point of correcting the way your husband does something, when he is just trying to help? If your man is trying to help with chores around the house… why can’t he do it his own way?
But what about when he is really doing something wrong? For example, he is using glass cleaner on your wooden dining room table? What is the nice way to correct him, without sounding demeaning?
To correct without sounding rude or demeaning, use the “sandwich approach.” Begin with a compliment, nicely correct him, and end with a compliment.
So, with the above scenario, go with something like this, “Honey, thank you so much for your help. This is the cleaner for our wood furniture. I appreciate you doing this for me!”
When your husband helps out “just because,” he is doing it to help you. He does not want to “do it” incorrectly, so he will appreciate having the proper supplies at hand… and with those compliments, he won’t even know you corrected him!
As wives, there are things we need to let go of, and checking to make sure the dishes are loaded correctly is one of them. Who knows? Your guy might find a better way to clean things (yes… it is possible!). Your husband is not perfect; but guess what? Neither are wives!
Let your husband help. If he is offering, let him help, and let him help in his own way.
Disclaimer: Now, laundry might be another story. If you are worried about the way your husband might do laundry, leave a list and directions… and remind him that “cold is his friend.”
Design by: Amy Loves It! *Photo by: captg*
Hey, I just discovered that glass cleaner on wood is actually pretty good. We get all into wood cleaners, but you aren’t actually cleaning the wood, just the finish. And the finish is very like glass. Our wood floors perked up and regained a bit of shine when we switched from Murphy’s Oil Soap to Windex!
I did have to have a few conversations about exactly why his underwear turned pink, though. 🙂
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Voting ends today! =-.
(Note, it very much depends on what finish is on your wood as to whether or not window cleaner is a good idea, and you shouldn’t do it all the time. It just helped regain some of the shine after too much residue!)
.-= Dana´s last blog ..Voting ends today! =-.
What a great post Amy! This is such a great reminder and something I struggle with a lot.
Just the other day, one of the kids asked if we could make them another bag of popcorn. I was sitting at the table working. When I said yes, I stood up to walk into the kitchen to make, even though my husband was standing right there! He proceeded to go through this long, elaborate act about how he didn’t know how to make popcorn…he put the bag in the oven, in the dishwasher, etc…the kids were all cracking up. Finally, he looked at me and said “would you go sit back down? I think I can handle this.”
Why do we get stuck in this trap? We do need to just be thankful and graciously accept the help, even if it’s not always how we’d do it. I’d rather have his version of help than no help at all! 🙂
.-= Kate @ A Simple Walk´s last blog ..Pear and Cream Cheese Muffins =-.
Thanks for this! I’ve been trying for the longest time to figure out a way to correct without seeming like I’m nagging or criticizing. I’ve even asked my husband! But he didn’t know what to tell me. So I’ll give this a shot after I let go of correcting those unimportant things.
(I think this is true for correcting our children too!)
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..On Her Birthday: Breakfast The Pioneer Woman’s Way =-.
My husbands job is very stressful so I don’t ask him to do anything except eat, sleep. I LOVE doing everything I can for him and the household. Call me crazy but I really do love taking care of him. He is truly spoiled. Some times he’s worse than a kid. LOL! People don’t believe the things I do for him. Anytime he tells his friends what I do they go home and tell their wives and they tell them not gonna happend. I wouldn’t have it any other way.